Why does girl bullying happen? Bullying can sometimes be difficult to pinpoint in girl groups, as oftentimes the girls consider each other “friends.” Although the occurrences in the movie Mean Girls seem a bit ludicrous, these types of situations actually do happen. Young women often do spend their days trying to get an “in” with the “in-crowd”, attempting to raise their own social status by bringing the status of others down. The “high value” young women place on their relationships “cycle of wanting to be popular.”
How can you tell if someone is a friend or bully? Could some friends be using you? If someone only shows up when they want something from you, then they are probably using you. If someone only shows up when you have free concert tickets or your boyfriend has cute friends, they might not really be your friend. Or you may find girls who constantly talk you down or talk themselves up. This could be a red flag. Another red flag? Girls who only talk about themselves.
Girls who talk about you behind your back will try to get others to do the same. The problem is that most of them just want to fit in to the conversations around them and might not be aware of what they are doing to you as a person.
Talk to Someone. Whether you are a victim of relational aggression or acting as the aggressor, talking to someone can help. You can find a peer counseling group, talk to someone you trust like a parent or friend or you can talk with a psychologist or school counselor who offers individual sessions.
Get Help. Look for a group or task force at your school that fights relational aggression. If one does not exist, talk to school administrators, counselors and parents to get one started.
Acknowledgement: This fact sheet was originally developed by youth and staff at ReachOut.com, a website that helps teens get through tough times.